


I'm So Sorry, Gavin

by RoxyDaCannibal



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Gavin Reed, Cat Owner Gavin Reed, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Gavin Reed, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Tags May Change, The Author Regrets Everything, Thirium (Detroit: Become Human), Top Upgraded Connor | RK900
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-07-03 18:51:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15824853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxyDaCannibal/pseuds/RoxyDaCannibal
Summary: RK900 ( Richard ) is not the best boyfriend. Constantly damaging Gavin's self esteem and his confidence, he's slowly killing Gavin without realizing it. Oblivious, he continues to hurt him everyday until one day his everything falls apart.





	1. A day full of tears

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be sad so if you don't like sad shit, please click away. If you like sad stuff, you've come to the right story. Hope you enjoy! ( The beginning is based off an unfinished roleplay, so I apologize if it is bad )

Gavin was at work.  ~~~~He was having an okay day so far, and he felt fine for the first time in awhile. You see, he has a boyfriend that just so happened to be an android. This android was the new RK900 model named Richard. The relationship they have is...Abusive. Every day, Richard finds a way to hurt him somehow, it was as if that was his source of entertainment. It looked like it will never stop, it had been going on for a few years now. How Gavin managed to get by every day, we'll never know.

Gavin was sitting at his desk doing work on his computer when said boyfriend came up behind him. "Your hair is a mess. You look stupid, go fix it. I don't want to be seen with you when you look like that." Gavin tensed up at the sound of his voice coming from behind him.  Not wanting to disobey him, he got up slowly and turned around. Richard had his arms crossed, and he looked disgusted. Gavin quickly looked away from the sight in front of him and headed to the bathroom.

Gavin stood in front of the mirror and did his best to fix his messy and greasy hair. He hadn't showered in weeks. Getting out of bed in the morning was hard enough as it is for him, he hasn't been taking care of himself for awhile now. He didn't care, but it made Richard angry that he loved someone as disgusting as Gavin Reed. Every time Gavin would stand up for himself, Richard would apologize, they would have sex, and then things would go back to how they were: Abusive.

Gavin left the bathroom and went back to his desk. He sat down and started doing his work again, Richard standing behind him. "That's better. I have things I need to do now. Bye." he said before walking away. No goodbye kiss, no hug, nothing. This is what he was usually given: Nothing. Did he really love him? It didn't seem like it. Not with the way he treats him.

Gavin teared up as he realized this. It's been a few years of this suffering. Richard didn't love him, he never did. He was so nice when they first met, but once they got together, Richard pulled a complete 180 and started treating him horribly. It was more verbal abuse than physical, but it still felt like a hard punch to the gut every time.

Hank was at his own desk with Connor asleep in his lap. It was inappropriate while at work, but nobody said anything about it so it must be fine. Hank looked over at Gavin to check on him after he saw Richard leave, and noticed that he was tearing up, watching as Gavin got up and left the building. Hank gently nudged Connor and when he opened his eyes, he spoke, "Connor, wake up. Richard is being an asshole again." Connor made an "ugh" noise and got off his lap, following Gavin out of the building, Hank behind him.

Gavin was sitting on the steps outside smoking. He was trying  _so_ hard not to cry, but was failing. "I really need a drink.." he mumbled to himself, crying quietly. Connor walked over to him and sat down beside him. "Gavin? What's wrong?" He said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. Hank sat down on the other side of him, not saying anything. He had a look of concern and worry on his face, with a slight hint of anger due to Richard treating him horribly. When Gavin spoke, his voice cracked. For once, what he said to the RK800 model wasn't rude or cruel, it was sad and heartbreaking.

"E-Everything is wrong..." Hank took a deep breath before giving a response. "Why don't you just leave him? It's obvious that the fuck doesn't care, he doesn't deserve you. So why don't you just leave him and find someone who will treat you right?" Gavin thought for a moment before replying to his question. "Well, he's not all bad...He got me a candy bar the other day, so I guess some part of him cares." Connor shook his head. "You're wrong, Gavin. If he cared, he wouldn't give you insults. He would treat you properly. Right?" Gavin didn't reply. He simply put out his cigarette, got up, and went to his car to go home. He just wanted to get away from everybody. He needed to lay down.

The lonely drive home was silent except for the quiet sound of the radio as simple background noise. Gavin was focused on the road, his mind was blank. He felt empty inside, like he was hollow. He stopped crying when he got in the car. It was like his emotions had been turned off and was left with nothing to feel. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, no fear, just nothing. 

When he got home, he immediately went to his room and got into bed. He really needed to sleep so that he could have a few hours of peace, even though he won't be awake.

It was better than nothing.


	2. At least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a bit longer than the previous chapter so hope you enjoy! ( 400+ hits, wow! )

Gavin awoke to a knock on his front door. He rolled over and looked to his left to check the time, seeing that it was 6:07pm. He slept for 5 hours? Oh well. It's not like he cared. It was nice actually, those 5 hours of peace. He was reminded that there was someone at the door when that person knocked again. He got up slowly and went downstairs, going to the front door and opening it. There stood Richard, holding a bouquet of all different kinds of flowers. However his face was blank, like usual.

"Get dressed. We're going on a date...These are for you". He held out the flowers for Gavin to take. Gavin blushed as he took the flowers, giving a quiet "come in" before walking away to put the flowers in a vase. Richard walked into his house, making a disgusted noise when he looked around and saw the state of the house.

Everything was a mess. There were pieces of clothes on the floor, and there were dirty dishes on the floor, the tables, they covered the kitchen counter and completely filled the kitchen sink. There were empty beer bottles everywhere too. There were too many cigarettes in the few ash trays he had. It seemed that Gavin smokes and drinks way too much. Richard had a disgusted look on his face as he sat on the couch to wait for Gavin to get dressed. He spoke, "Why the hell is it so filthy in here?" "I..." Gavin shook his head, not knowing what excuse or explanation to give his boyfriend. He put the flowers in a vase, then quickly went upstairs to get dressed.

Gavin didn't have anything formal. He put on the best he could find, not looking at himself in the mirror as he changed. He didn't want to look at how disgusting he was. The cuts on his arms. He got dressed quickly and went back downstairs. Richard turned to look at him, and he looked annoyed. "You're going on a date with me dressed like that?" Gavin looked away and mumbled "This is the best I have..." "Ugh." Richard simply said before getting up. "Fine, whatever. Let's go." Richard left without looking back at him. Gavin teared up slightly and followed.

Richard then realized that Gavin smelled horrible due to the fact that he hadn't showered in weeks. "Gavin." He sounded angry. "Y-Yes?..." Richard still had a disgusted look on his face from earlier. "When was the last time you took a shower?" Gavin thought for a moment before answering, "Several weeks..." He looked down at the ground in shame. "Jesus, Gavin! You're revolting." He walked faster to get away from him. "Gavin teared up again and quietly said, "Then why are you with me?" Richard stopped walking. "Because I love you and I hate myself for it." Gavin tried his hardest not to cry as he said those harmful words. Gavin said nothing else as they walked to their destination.

"Where are we going?" Gavin asked. "You'll see." was all Richard said before walking to the biggest park in Detroit, Gavin slowly walking behind him. Richard turned around to see Gavin a little ways away from him, still looking down at the ground, his hand on his arm. Richard looked annoyed now as he went over to him, grabbed his arm roughly, and started walking faster to get him moving.

When Richard grabbed his arm, Gavin let out a quiet "ow" as he tried to pull his arm away. Richard's grip was tight. It hurt to have that grip on the cuts that were on his arm. He tried not to make any noise as Richard ignored the fact that he was hurting him and pulled him closer to a bench to sit down. Once they got to the bench, Richard let go of his arm and sat down. Gavin sat down beside him, carefully and gently rubbing the arm that was grabbed roughly by the android. 

"Don't be such a baby, Gavin. I didn't grab you that hard." Gavin said nothing as he looked anywhere but at Richard. Instead, he focused on the trees. 

It was autumn. The leaves on the trees and on the ground were beautiful shades of red, orange, yellow and even brown looked beautiful. The sun was shining bright, a soft breeze blew through Gavin's slightly messy brown hair. This was going to be a nice date. "It's beautiful here..." Gavin said, still looking around at his surroundings. He was amazed at how nature could be this beautiful.

"I know, that's why I brought you here. Autumn is a pretty season." Richard replied, putting an arm around Gavin's shoulders for the first time in a long time. Gavin leaned into him, letting his head rest on his shoulder. It was calm. There weren't very many people in the park today, only a few people walking their dogs and androids picking up litter and raking the leaves. Gavin was relaxed now, watching the androids work as he moved a little closer to his boyfriend. He loved being this close to his boyfriend, it was nice. 

Gavin didn't mean to fall asleep, but he did. They stayed there in the park for a couple of hours, Richard not wanting to wake up Gavin when he looked so peaceful. Eventually Gavin woke up on his own, noticing that it was now dark out. "What time is it...?" He asked, sleepy. He sat up straight and stretched his arms and legs, yawning. 

"It's 8:52pm, Gavin." Richard replied blankly. Richard got up, holding out his hand for Gavin to take. Gavin blushed as he took his hand, allowing himself to be pulled up into a standing position. Richard then pulled his hand away, and gave a quick "You should be going home now. You have work tomorrow. And take a damn shower." Gavin looked down and nodded, turning to walk back home. 

He was quiet on the way back home. He was back to feeling like shit, he really did need to take a shower. But he didn't. He simply went back to his room, got undressed, and got back into bed. After the way he was grabbed and spoken to as if he was an annoyance, he just really needed to sleep. But at least he got close to him. At least they finally went on another date. It was beautiful.


	3. Thirium, coffee and kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the Kudos, it really means a lot! ( 700+ hits oh my lord that's a lot ;-; )

The next day was...Unpleasant.

A man in his late 40's had committed the crime of murder. He had killed his wife, daughter and two sons. He strangled his daughter in her sleep, the two boys were shot along with his wife. The neighbours had heard the shots and called the police, so Gavin, Hank, Richard and Connor were all sent to investigate. When they arrived at the house, Connor and Hank stayed outside to talk with the neighbours and ask questions while Gavin and Richard were sent inside. There was no sign of the man anywhere. They looked through the kitchen, the two bathrooms, the bedrooms, every room in the house was searched including the attic. All except for the basement.

Now, it's common knowledge that you should never go in the basement for obvious reasons shown in horror movies. Gavin's nervousness got worse as they approached the stairs that lead down into the darkness. With his gun in hand and Richard behind him, he slowly and carefully made his way down. They both searched the basement, not finding a sign of him in here either until they saw a pile of boxes. As Gavin moved to check behind the stack, the man ( named Owen ) came out from behind the boxes and moved to shoot him, but Richard pushed him out of the way right as Owen pulled the trigger.

Gavin hit the ground with a thud. He felt some sort of liquid hit his cheek and sat up, realizing that Richard had been shot instead. Richard stumbled backwards with his hand over his shoulder as Owen ran as fast as he could to the stairs, but he didn't make it very far. Gavin quickly shot at him blindly, the bullet hit him in the leg. Owen fell to the ground and cried out in pain as two policemen rushed down the stairs at the sound of the two gunshots. Gavin, remembering that Richard had been shot, got up quickly and went over to him to check on him. 

He was lucky and had only been shot in the shoulder. Thirium was flowing out of the bullet wound at an alarming rate, causing Gavin to openly panic. "Shit!" He yelled, moving Richard's hand to inspect the wound better. Richard groaned, "I'm fine, Gavin. I was only shot in the shoulder." "You're bleeding really bad, Richard!" Gavin's panic got worse by the minute. "I'll be fine. I can get repaired easily." Richard's face was blank again. Gavin sighed, but not relaxing at all as his boyfriend continued to lose Thirium. "Just go get yourself help. I'll be there in a minute." Richard nodded and went up the stairs to seek help for his injury.

Gavin went over to the two policemen to speak with them for a moment or two. "Get this man a doctor for his wound. Then take him to the station for questioning." The two men nodded and put handcuffs on the man before calling down paramedics to take care of the bullet wound in his right leg.

Gavin went up the stairs and walked over to Connor and Hank. "What did you get from the neighbours?" Gavin asked. Connor was the one to reply. "The neighbours told us that the father was not treating his family very well. They were already going to call the police due to him being abusive to try and help the family when tonight they heard the shots. They immediately called 911 and told them everything." Gavin simply nodded, not saying anything else. 

                                                                                                                                       -

Richard hadn't suffered that much damage. While Richard was being repaired, Connor was sent to question Owen while Gavin and Hank watched. Connor sat down across from Owen and waited a moment before asking, "Why did you kill your family?"

As the interrogation went on, Gavin's mind started to get distracted by Richard. He was so handsome, Gavin loved his eyes. When they first met, he was so nice. Always making sure Gavin was comfortable and happy, treating him right. Why did he treat him so horribly now? Had he done something wrong? Had he said something he didn't like that made him angry? Why wasn't he nice to him anymore?...Why did he stop loving him? Gavin sighed, wanting to know the answers but not wanting them at the same time. He needed a break.

Gavin left the room to go get a cup of coffee. He really needed a drink, and right now coffee is what his body was asking for. Gavin loved coffee, and that's what he was heading for. He went to the break room and grabbed a cup, pouring the dark liquid into the cup before taking a small sip. He sat down at one of the tables and put the cup down.

"You really need to stop drinking so much coffee, Gavin. And why didn't you take a fucking shower when I told you to? You disgust me." Gavin looked up to see Richard standing in the doorway, arms crossed. His shoulder had been fixed, and he looked annoyed. Gavin looked down, not saying a word. Richard walked over to him, grabbed him by the hair, and pulled his head up so they were facing each other. "I asked you a question, Gavin." He spat his name as if the taste of it in his mouth was awful. Gavin teared up from the pain and the cruel attention he was being given. "I was tired...I needed to sleep...Let go of my hair-" "When you get home, take a shower. You better come to work tomorrow clean. If you don't, you're going to be in serious trouble. Got it?" Gavin nodded, and Richard let go of his hair. Gavin got up quickly and left the room, not caring about his cup of coffee anymore.

When he got back to the interrogation room, he sniffled. Connor was done questioning Owen, and it was just the three of them in the room now. Connor and Hank immediately got up from where they were sitting and faced him, concerned. "Gavin? What's wrong? Is that asshole Richard being...Well, an asshole to you again?" Hank asked, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. Gavin nodded, looking away from Hank and at the wall. He didn't want to see their pitiful looks, he didn't want or deserve their pity and concern.

"That bastard. I'll kill him, I've had enough of the way he treats you." Hank went to leave the room, but Gavin quickly grabbed his arm to stop him. "Don't! Don't hurt him- Please, Hank...Don't." Gavin pleaded, looking at him with fear in his eyes. Hank was confused. "Why the fuck not? He deserves it for all the shit he's caused you." Gavin shook his head. "Just don't." Hank sighed. "Fine, whatever. I won't hurt him. But I can't promise anything if he continues to treat you like shit, Gavin." Gavin nodded, pleased that at least for now he wouldn't have to worry about Richard being hurt again.

Gavin left the room, wanting to see Richard again. He wanted to try something, but he was a little nervous that he would be rejected. Richard was in the break room, sitting at the table doing nothing. He seemed to be lost in thought. "R-Richard?" Gavin asked, walking over to him and sitting down beside him. "What?" Richard asked, looking at him. Gavin, for the first time in what felt like forever, smiled. Then, he kissed Richard.

Richard, after a moment of hesitation, kissed back.


	4. Overdue happiness ( and cats )

After the kiss, Gavin was happy for the rest of the week. For the first time in awhile, he was smiling like a dork. Him and Richard hadn't kissed in what felt like an eternity, it was _really_ nice. Gavin loved and appreciated the little things, like quick kisses, a few flowers, holding hands and dates in the park. He loved it all. Why the sudden love and affection, Gavin was confused. They hadn't kissed or gone on a date in so long, so why was it all happening now? Sure, it was his idea to kiss, but he was expecting Richard to push him away and reject him. But no, he kissed back. Gavin definitely wasn't complaining, he was happy about it. He had missed kissing Richard. Kissing him felt right, like his lips were made for him and only him. He never wanted to kiss anyone else besides him. Even if he hurts him, he will always see the good in him no matter what and sometimes he hates himself for this. It makes him feel weak and pathetic, but he can't help the way he feels. That's just how he is, unfortunately.

After work, Gavin went to a bar. He hadn't been to one in awhile, so he thought it would be nice to go there again. When he walked in, he sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of whiskey. The alcohol burned his throat as he swallowed it, but it felt good. After that, he ordered another. And another. And another. He just kept ordering more and it seemed as if he wouldn't stop. The only reason he did eventually stop was because the bartender told him he had had enough. Gavin groaned and paid for the drinks, got up, stumbled to the door and left. He walked home, unaware of the Hell that was going to break loose when he walked in. When he got home, Richard was sitting on the couch. He looked  _pissed_ _._

_" **WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN**?" _ He yelled, getting up and storming over to Gavin. Gavin at this point was drunk as fuck. He muttered out a quiet "Fuck off, Richard" before almost losing his balance and slowly going up the stairs. Richard stood there in shock. However that shock quickly turned into anger as he followed Gavin up the stairs, quickly catching up to him due to his slow movements. Richard put a hand on his shoulder, roughly turned him around, grabbed the front of his sweater and spat, "Don't ever talk to me like that again. Do you understand me?"

Gavin didn't really give two shits anymore. But he nodded anyways, not a care in the world. Richard let go of his sweater and sighed. "I can tell you've been drinking. You haven't been doing anything stupid, have you?" Gavin tried to think, but his mind was all fuzzy and he felt weird. But he shook his head, certain he hadn't done anything "stupid". Richard nodded, approving. "Okay." he said simply before going to their room to change and lay down. Gavin followed, stumbling. Richard helped Gavin change into pajamas, and then they both got into bed. Gavin fell asleep immediately cuddled up to Richard, who had his arm around him.

He was going to wake up with a raging headache in the morning.

                                                                                                              -

He did indeed wake up with a raging headache.

When he woke up, he groaned. It hurt, and now he regretted having all those drinks. He sat up to get up and go get a pill for his headache when he realized Richard wasn't in bed with him anymore. Was he downstairs? He couldn't have been making breakfast, he only ever cooked for him a few times and that was when they first got together. And he didn't need to eat since he was an android, so where could he have gone?

Gavin got up, first desperately wanting to get a pill when he realized Richard had left him a pill and a small glass of water for him. Gavin smiled slightly and gladly took the pill, swallowing some water with it. He put the glass down and went downstairs to go see where Richard had gone to. When he went downstairs, he saw Richard on the couch. He was holding something small in his hand, but Gavin couldn't tell what. Richard turned around slightly to look at him, and he smiled softly at Gavin. Oh how Gavin missed his smile. He loved his smile.

"Gavin, close your eyes. I got you a surprise." Richard spoke softly for the first time in what felt like forever. Gavin closed his eyes, wondering what he got him. When Richard walked over to him, he heard a faint "meow". Gavin immediately smiled, knowing what it was he got him. "You can open your eyes now." Richard spoke softly. When Gavin opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of an adorable black kitten with a red and white polka dot collar. The kitten had green eyes, and she gave another soft "meow" as she put her paw on Gavin's nose. Gavin smiled and took the kitten from Richard, petting her carefully as she looked up at him. Gavin checked the name tag on the collar and saw that the kitten's name was Cinder. A pretty name for a pretty kitty.

"She's really pretty..." Gavin said, stroking her soft black fur. "I know. And she's all yours." Richard replied, kissing his cheek. Gavin smiled again, already in love with his new kitten.

He was happy.


	5. The marks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 121 Kudos, 14 bookmarks and 1600+ hits O_O THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!! ( This chapter will have more Connor/Hank and Sumo will be added because why not :) )

Gavin was in bed cuddling with his new kitten. He was relaxed and calm, the tiny black kitten asleep on his chest. It was 9:07pm, nothing interesting happened at work today. It was the same as usual, Gavin found it boring. He had one hand on the kitten, stroking and petting the soft black fur he already loved so much. When the kitten purred, it sounded sad. Nonetheless, it was adorable. 

Gavin's peace and quiet was interrupted by Richard walking into their bedroom. Like every day, his face was blank. "Get up. You're taking a shower whether you like it or not. I refuse to be around you anymore when you're so fucking filthy." Gavin was hurt by his words. He always got hurt. He carefully moved Cinder off of him and got up, grabbing a fresh set of clothes to change into when he was finished his shower. He walked out of the room and into the bathroom, setting the clothes down and making sure he had a towel to dry himself off with before shutting and locking the door. He took his clothes off, avoiding the mirror so he wouldn't have to look at his awful appearance. How fat he was. The marks on his arms and his thighs. How he was overall just so ugly and revolting. He turned the water on as cold as possible, just wanting to feel  _something_ besides emotional and mental pain and nothing. The cold water was nice when it hit his back, and he just stood there. He let himself drown in the feeling of the cold water, and he tilt his head back to wet his hair. The cold water felt nice when it dripped down his face as he brought his head back down to stare at the wall.

After half an hour, Gavin stepped out of the shower smelling like lavender. He turned the water off, wrapped a towel around himself and stared at himself in the mirror. If he was told to list all the things he hated about himself physically, the list would be a meter long. He  _hated_ his body. He hated to look at it, he hated that he had to live looking like that. He teared up as he continued to stare at himself, his attention mainly focused on the cuts on his arms. The cuts still stung from when the water hit them. He quickly looked away as he gently and carefully rubbed his arms, hoping for some relief. But there was none.

Slowly and carefully, Gavin got dressed. The last item of clothing he put on was his sweater to hide the cuts from Richard. He didn't want him to see them, because he would laugh at him and say he was doing it just for attention. But if he was doing it for attention, then why did he try so hard to keep them hidden?

Gavin left the bathroom and went back to his room to lay down again. Richard was sitting on the bed, waiting for him. "That's much better." He got up and walked over to him, moving to kiss him, but Gavin held up a hand to stop him. "I...I want to be left alone...Please...I just want to lay down." Gavin actually wanted nothing more than to cuddle with his android, but Richard already looked annoyed. "Hmph. Whatever." He pushed past him and left the room, going downstairs. Gavin regretted his actions and his words as he got back into bed, pulling the blankets up and over him completely. He curled into a ball and let sleep take him away where he could finally find real peace.

                                                                                                           -

Hank was at home on the couch, drinking. God knows where Connor went off to at this time, but Hank didn't question it. Sumo was laying down at his feet just barely awake. He would yawn every once in a while, showing Hank that he was tired but most likely couldn't sleep. Suddenly the front door of his home opened, and Connor walked inside. "Where did you go?" Hank asked, putting his beer bottle down. Connor told him "It's not important" and sat beside him. "You should really stop drinking Hank, it's bad for your health and could damage your liver." Connor said, giving him a concerned look. "I don't care." Hank replied, picking the bottle of beer up again and taking a mouthful of it. Connor sighed.

"You really should listen to me, Hank. You don't want to end up in the hos-" "I said I don't care...Don't worry about me Connor. You do that too much, you really should stop worrying so much." Connor looked down. "But I...Hank, I can't stop worrying about you. I care about you." Hank hesitated before putting his beer down. He gave a quiet "Fine" before lifting Connor's chin up and kissing him softly. Connor kissed back, practically melting into the kiss. It started out slow, but gradually it got more intense, more sexual. Hank laid down on the couch and pulled Connor on top of him, his hands on his hips. Connor moved into his touch, loving the feeling of Hank's hands on him. Hank licked his bottom lip and Connor opened his mouth slightly, moaning softly as Hank gave him a deep and passionate kiss. However they were disturbed by a knock on the door, followed by Sumo's barking as he got up and went over to the front door to "protect" his owners. Hank groaned in annoyance as Connor got off of him and sat up properly, Hank getting up to answer the door.

Whoever it was, they had horrible timing.

                                                                                                            -

Gavin woke up the next morning. He already felt like shit, not wanting to move at all. He stayed in the position he was in for a solid half hour before the blankets were ripped away from him, Richard standing over him looking annoyed. "Get up, we have work. Come on." That was all he said before he grabbed Gavin, pulling him up into a sitting position to get him moving. Gavin groaned as the sun hit his eyes, immediately closing them and putting an arm over them to better hide his eyes from the blinding sunlight.

"Hurry up. If you don't start moving, I won't wait for you." Richard then went downstairs and left Gavin alone in his room, sitting in bed. Gavin got up slowly and went downstairs. He didn't even have time to grab something quick to eat before Richard grabbed his arm and dragged him outside. His grip on the cuts hurt  _so_ bad. Gavin tried to pull his arm away as he teared up, but Richard had his grip firm on his arm and wouldn't let go. "Please let me go, Richard...It hurts..." complained Gavin. But Richard still wouldn't let go. He lead him over to the car and finally let go, getting into the driver's side. Gavin rubbed his arm and got into the passenger's side, trying not to cry.

The drive to the station was silent. Gavin was staring out the window, not saying a word. He was holding his arm, not because the cuts still stung, but because he was scared that he would be grabbed roughly again and dragged wherever else. Richard glanced at him a few times, but didn't really think much of his behavior. When they arrived at the Detroit police station, Richard parked the car and got out and walked up to the building, not looking back at Gavin or waiting for him. Gavin got out of the car and followed him slowly, not happy that he would be going back to work surrounded by people that didn't like him.

All day long he thought about the cuts and the fear that someone might see and laugh at him. The more he thought about it, the worse it got. He remembered that he had a razor blade in his pocket, so he got up from his desk and went to the bathroom. He waited until there was nobody left in the bathroom before going in a stall and locking the door. He took the blade out of his pocket and lifted up his sleeve. He remembered how Richard treated him and how he acted around him. He remembered how awful he looks and that he deserves this. Yes, he deserves this. He doesn't just want to anymore, he  _needs_ to.

 He brought the blade down on his arm and made a long cut to his wrist. He did that action again. And again. And again. And again. He didn't stop until his entire arm was covered with cuts, bleeding. He took a tissue out of his pocket and wiped away the blood, not wanting blood to seep through his sleeve and give away what he had done. When he left the stall he put the razor blade back in his sweater pocket and threw the tissue out. The pain was a good punishment in his mind.

It was something that he definitely deserved.


	6. Something is wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys may notice that I have changed the tags. I have changed the story up a bit ( for the future of course, not updating and changing previous chapters ) so hope you still like it anyways! ( 169 Kudos and 2300+ hits OH MY GOODNESS :O! I love you all! )

After work, Gavin went home and immediately went to his room to lay down. He always woke up only to hope night would come sooner so he could go back to bed. Cinder followed him up the stairs...Or rather, attempted to, she was still very small and struggled with getting up the long flight of stairs. But she eventually made it up, and followed Gavin into his room, meowing sadly. Gavin picked her up and put her on the bed, laying down on his back. He picked her up again and put her on his chest, petting her. Cinder began purring, closing her yellow-green eyes as she snuggled into his shirt, kneading the fabric. Gavin continued to stroke her soft black fur, closing his eyes too. He just wanted to sleep. He stayed in that position for a few minutes, slowly drifting off to sleep...Until there was a knock on his door.

Groaning, Gavin moved Cinder off him and got up. She meowed at him sadly again, wanting to be pet more, but Gavin ignored her and left the room, going downstairs and to the front door to answer it. When he opened the door, there stood Connor  ~~in all his gay glory.~~

"What the fuck are you doing here, dipshit?" Gavin snarled, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame. "I just wanted to come check on you...Is Richard here?" Connor asked, not wanting to be seen with Gavin by Richard in case he got angry at them both. Gavin shook his head, stepping to the side to let Connor in. Connor walked into the house, sighing as he looked around at how messy everything was. Gavin hadn't cleaned up the house yet, and probably never will get to it without some help. "You haven't been taking care of your house...Would you like some help?" Connor asked softly. Gavin shook his head again, not saying anything as he turned around to look at Cinder, who was stuck trying to get down the stairs. Connor looked at her and smiled. "You got a kitten?" He asked, going over to Cinder and picking her up. Gavin nodded. "Yeah...Richard got her for me." Connor was sort of shocked to hear that Richard got a kitten for Gavin. He rarely ever gave him anything, and Gavin really loves cats. "Oh..." Connor said quietly. He pet Cinder for a bit before putting her down on the floor, the black kitten immediately going over to Gavin. Gavin picked her up and held her close, a faint smile on his face.

"She really likes you, doesn't she?" Connor asked, smiling softly at the cute sight before him. Even though Gavin's smile was faint, Connor could still see that he was smiling and for that he was happy. It was good to see a smile on Gavin's face for once, it was nice. "Gavin?" "Hm?" "...How are you feeling today?" Gavin didn't know how to answer that question. Connor and Hank knew that he has hurt himself before and still does, and they know about his thoughts of suicide. Should he tell him the truth?...Or a lie?

Gavin shook his head, not wanting to answer but he did anyways. He put Cinder down and mumbled, "I hurt myself at work today..." Connor went over to Gavin, grabbed his hand and lead him to the bathroom. He sat Gavin down on the edge of the bathtub and sat down beside him. "Can I see? Please, let me help so they don't get infected..." Gavin didn't say anything, but he nodded, signaling that he was okay with Connor helping him. He's done it before, and secretly trusts him even though he acts like he hates him with a burning passion. Connor nodded back, giving Gavin a quiet "Thank you for telling me" as he got up to grab a first aid kit. He took out some bandages and some items to clean them with and sat back down beside him. Gavin didn't move as Connor lifted up his sleeves, sighing as he saw the cuts on his arm. Gavin wanted to run and hide, he wanted to cover them up so that Connor wouldn't give him a pitiful look, but he just sat there as Connor tended to the cuts, letting out quiet hisses when the wash cloth Connor was gently dabbing the cuts with would sting ever so slightly.

Gavin felt horrible. He knew he shouldn't have done this, because now poor Connor is concerned and worried about him and he shouldn't be wasting his time by taking care of him when he could be doing something nice and enjoyable with Hank instead. But no, instead he's here in his house, now wrapping bandages around his arm. Taking care of him. Does he really care? Probably not. He's probably just doing all this out of pity. Yeah, that must be it...Right?

It was quiet for a few seconds. Connor was looking into Gavin's eyes, searching for some emotion. But Gavin's face was blank. He was feeling nothing now, the faint smile gone as he was reminded of what he had done to himself.

"Why?" Connor asked softly, not wanting to upset Gavin if he sounded angry. Which he was. But he wasn't angry at Gavin, he was angry at Richard. He probably had something to do with this, since he's the one that makes Gavin feel so horrible about himself. Gavin teared up as he answered, "Because I just hate myself...So so much...It's my fault Richard treats me like he does...I'm a horrible person and I'm just not good enough for anything. I deserved it, so that's why I...That's why I did it." Connor was on the verge of tears himself. He hated seeing Gavin like this, and he hated hearing those words coming out of his mouth, sounding broken and far beyond repair.

"No...No no no, Gavin, that's not true. It's not your fault Richard treats you the way he does, it's nobody's fault but his own and he doesn't deserve you. You are not a horrible person. I don't think you are...Yes, you can be mean at times, but that's just you being yourself. You are good enough, did-...Did Richard say you're not good enough, or do you tell that to yourself?" Gavin pulled his sleeves down and gave a quiet "I tell that to myself" before finally bursting into tears, covering his face with his hands as he sobbed. Connor immediately threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly, Gavin babbling nonsense. 

They stayed like that for awhile, Gavin clinging to Connor's jacket as he sobbed into his shoulder. Connor rubbed his back in a comforting gesture, whispering softly to him that he's going to be okay, that one day this will all be over and he'll be okay. But Gavin didn't believe that. He has severe mental issues, things aren't going to just get better for him. If only Connor could understand better about what he was feeling.

Because something is horribly wrong with him.

He has thoughts about killing himself, and he cuts. It's been that way ever since he met Richard. Something is wrong.

He hasn't seen a psychiatrist yet, but Hank has been pushing him to make an appointment. He can't say that he has depression, but to him it seems as if he does. Because he only showers if Richard forces him to. He barely ever brushes his teeth, and he just doesn't have motivations anymore. The activities he used to enjoy are boring now, not enjoyable anymore.

After awhile Gavin relaxed and stopped crying. The sad feeling was gone and was replaced by nothing, like usual. This is what usually happens; He'll be sad or happy or angry or anything else, and then all of a sudden the feelings are gone and replaced by this dark, empty feeling inside. Like he's nothing but a shell with nothing on the inside. HE hates this feeling of nothing, he wants to feel emotions more, but they just don't stay very long. He  _hates_ it. So much.

Once Gavin stopped crying, Connor let go of him and put his hands on his shoulders. Gavin refused to look at him as he sniffled. "Gavin. Look at me." He said sternly. After a few seconds, Gavin looked at him, his eyes red and puffy. Connor gave him a soft, reassuring smile. He pressed his forehead against Gavin's and closed his eyes, Gavin doing the same.

Both Connor and Gavin were relaxing and enjoying the moment, not hearing the front door opening. In walked Richard, carrying a little collar for the new kitten. He went to the bathroom after checking the living room and kitchen to find Gavin, the door wide open. "Gavin?-..." Gavin and Connor were still in the same position, but immediately moved away from each other when they saw Richard standing in the doorway. Richard looked shocked, but that emotion immediately turned into anger. He was  _livid_.

And that's when Hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was procrastinating homework and an assignment when I wrote this ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Oh well
> 
> ( Fun fact: Cinder is actually my cat in real life :) She's a sweetheart, I love her )


	7. The physical fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3000+ hits and 200+ kudos is so amazing I love each and every one of you! ;-;

The colour drained from both Gavin and Connor's faces as they looked at Richard. They didn't hear him come in, too focused on their moment together. It was a friendly gesture, pressing their foreheads together, but it was obvious Richard thought differently. Richard dropped the little collar, the bell attached to it hitting the floor first. Richard's hands were at his sides, curled into tight fists as he stared at them, still sitting on the edge of the bathtub. " ** _What the_  ** _ **HELL are**_ ** _you two_**   _ **doing?!**_ " He yelled at them, pure anger and now hatred for Connor poured out of his mouth as he screamed at them. Gavin was scared for his life, terrified because was this the day Richard finally hit him? Was he finally going to beat him? Kill him maybe? Or what if he left him?...No. No no no, that couldn't happen, Gavin thought, he can't. He was shaking now, he could feel the fear in his chest getting stronger as each second went by.

With a shaky and quiet voice, he tried to explain to the android, "Richard, please listen to me...We weren't doing anything- Please, calm down- You have to believe me, it was nothing!" Connor nodded, getting up slowly as to not make a sudden move and get a punch to the face. Both android's LED's were red, and if Gavin was an android, his would be red too. Gavin was scared to death, visibly shaking. Connor took note of this and stepped in front of Gavin to do his best to protect him from the livid android standing in front of them. He wouldn't let Gavin get hurt like this. 

Richard growled at Connor when he stepped in front of Gavin. "Get out of my way, Connor." He snapped, taking a step forward. Connor shook his head and took a step forward also. "Over my dead body. I won't let you hurt Gavin, not anymore. Can't you see he's scared?" Richard looked at Gavin, and...Did he just soften? It was faint, but he relaxed ever so slightly when he saw that Gavin was shaking from fear. It looked as if Gavin was curling up, trying to hide as he stared back at Richard. But when Richard looked back at Connor, the anger returned, and he punched Connor straight in the nose. Connor yelped and punched him back, hitting him in the jaw. For a minute, they kept throwing punches as thirium dripped from their noses and onto their clothes and the tiles of the bathroom floor. Gavin grabbed Connor and tried to pull him away to stop the fight, but it was no use. Connor pushed him away carefully and kicked Richard right between the legs. Richard groaned as he fells to his knees, looking up at Connor with a look that screamed murder.

"Fuck you..." He groaned, getting up slowly and punching Connor in the gut. It was Connor's turn to fall to his knees, and when he did, Richard grabbed him by the hair and dragged him out of the room. "Stop, Richard!" Yelled Gavin, going after them, trying to reason with Richard, to get him to stop hurting Connor. But Richard simply pushed him away roughly, Gavin stumbling backwards. Connor was kicking his legs around and clawing at Richard's hands and arms. He was whimpering, desperately trying to get Richard to let go of his now messy hair. 

Gavin was standing there, at a loss on what to do. He wanted to help Connor, but at the same time he didn't want Richard to hurt him. But Richard let go of Connor and hissed, "Leave." Connor quickly got up, gave Gavin a worried look, and left. Now it was Gavin's turn to receive pain from Richard's hand.

Richard slowly turned to look at Gavin. Gavin was staring at him, scared to death because what was Richard going to do to him? Was he going to leave him? Beat him up? Scream and yell at him? It had to be one of those things, surely. Richard stormed over to him, Gavin quickly backing up into the dining room table. Richard grabbed the front of his sweater and roughly jerked him forward, his face close to his. "I want an explanation, and I want it now. Make it quick." He growled. Gavin's bottom lip trembled as he desperately tried not to cry in front of Richard. One of the last things he wanted Richard to do was laugh at him and call him weak. Which he was, but he didn't needed to be reminded of that. 

"...Connor came over to check on me...And I got hurt today, so he took me to the bathroom to help me, and...W-We both sat down on the edge of the bathtub, and I was sad, so we hugged...And then as a friendly gesture he pressed his forehead against mine...And then you walked in..." Gavin refused to look at Richard in the eyes. "..." Richard was silent for a moment. He thought about what Gavin said, taking it in. He considered what he said. Finally, he gave a reply. "...Alright. I believe you." He let go of Gavin and stepped away from him. Gavin sighed, relieved. But Richard wasn't done. "Why the hell would Connor have to come here to check on you?" 

Gavin gulped. He didn't want to reveal his horrible secrets to Richard, not now. So he came up with a lie. "I don't know, just to come see me? You know him, he's too nice of a fuck. Just forget it, please..." Gavin pleaded. The last thing he wanted was for his secrets to spill. "Sleep on the couch tonight, I don't want to see your face. Stay the hell away from me until you're ready to tell me the truth." Richard spat, heading upstairs. After the bedroom door slammed shut, Gavin burst into tears. He went to the couch to lay down, cuddling a pillow and burying his face in it. He sobbed, Cinder pawing at his leg to pick him up and put her on the couch with him. She meowed sadly, wanting to be with her new owner. The new pretty collar still on the floor outside the bathroom, it was a light turquoise with a bow and a bell on it. It was long forgotten now.

Cinder continued to paw at Gavin's leg until finally he picked her up, holding her close as he continued to cry. Cinder snuggled into his arms, enjoying the warmth coming from Gavin. She started to purr, and after awhile, Gavin relaxed at the sound and stopped crying. He stroked her fur gently and tiredly, wanting to sleep. Eventually, he fell asleep, still holding the tiny black kitten in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richard sighed as he sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands as he went over everything he's been saying to Gavin. 

He loves Gavin. More than anything in this whole universe. But judging by the crying he heard coming from downstairs, he wasn't doing a very good job at showing that. What should he do?

Richard sighed again. He laid down on his back and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about what he could do differently. He laid there for about an hour before he closed his eyes, and let sleep take him just like Gavin did.

About 4 hours later, he woke up. It was a dreamless sleep, but nonetheless it was nice considering the fact that Richard doesn't sleep very much. He sat up and looked at the floor, his mind going back to what he was thinking about before he fell asleep.

Was he doing something wrong? If so, what was he doing that was causing Gavin to be sad? Was it something he said, something he had done? That had to be it. He'd have to ask Gavin in the morning. Richard checked the time, noting that it was extremely early in the morning and Gavin probably won't wake up for several hours. He laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling as he continued to think about what it was he was doing wrong, unaware of the fact that at that very moment Gavin's biggest monster was Richard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Gavin woke up, Cinder was pawing at his face. When he checked the time, he noticed he was late for work. He quickly got up and got dressed, went downstairs, and was greeted to the sight of Richard sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee. But he hasn't been drinking it. It was for Gavin.

Gavin went over to him. "R-Richard?" He asked, curious as to why he was just sitting there. Richard turned to him, a blank expression on his face like usual. "Good morning, Gavin. I made you some coffee. Sit, we need to talk." Gavin raised an eyebrow, but sat down across from him anyways. He grabbed the cup of coffee and pulled it towards him, bringing it up to his mouth to take a small sip. He looked from the coffee cup to Richard, to the coffee cup again and back to Richard. "What is it you want to talk about?" Gavin questioned, taking another sip before putting the cup down. Richard looked him in the eyes and spoke with a serious tone. "You're different from how you were when we first met. It's almost...Sad. Am I doing something wrong?" Gavin nodded slowly. Gavin looked away, not wanting to see Richard. "Yes...You've been hurting me. Saying awful things to me and...Just overall being horrible towards me..." Richard took this in. 

And that's when he realized what he'd been doing.

All those things he said.

All the things he'd done.

He hurt him for  _so long._

No wonder he seemed different now.

Richard got up and went around the table to lean down next to Gavin. He gently lifted his chin up so he would look at him and when Gavin did look him in the eyes, he was shocked at how sad Richard seemed to be. He never thought he would see that emotion on his android's face.

"Gavin...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update ;v; Haven't really had the motivation lately, but I got it all back today :) Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Cuts Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Richard really mean it when he apologizes? Guess Gavin will have to find out once they talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I AM SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LATE UPDATE ;v; Please forgive
> 
> 4300+ hits and 300+ kudos ;v; I'm gonna cry

Gavin looked up at Richard in surprise. "You...What...?" Richard looked down and nodded.

"It has come to my attention that I have not been treating you very nicely." At that, Gavin started to get angry.

"Not been treating me very nicely? You asshole! I've been putting up with abuse for over three years! And NOW you realize that your actions have hurt me? FUCK YOU!"

"Gav-" Richard wasn't even able to finish saying his name. Gavin got up and slapped him hard across the face, tears pouring from his eyes as he sobbed. Richard put a hand on his cheek which was now turning a light blue. Gavin hit him  _hard_. He deserved it really, for all he had done. Gavin was sobbing as he grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door behind him. 

* * *

Gavin went to work. He had pulled his hood up on the way there so nobody else at the station would see that he had been crying, but the odd sniffle that came from him was noticed by Connor. So Connor went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder when Gavin sat down, making him jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to ask you if you're doing okay..." Gavin shook his head, dreading the moment Richard walked into the station to either work, talk to him, or full out lash out at Gavin for slapping him.

"...I-I hit Richard..." Gavin's voice cracked. Connor was shocked. "You hit him? Why? What did he do..?" Connor asked, wanting to know more about Gavin's situation.

"He apologized for everything he had done to me...'It has come to my attention that I have not been treating you very nicely', that's what he said. Fucking asshole..." Connor nodded slowly. "I understand why you hit him. He hurt you for a long time, and has only now realized what he has done to you, and for that I'm sorry he didn't realize it sooner. You should talk to him, talking things through and explaining to him what he has done to you should help you in a way." Gavin shook hos head violently.

"No...No! I'm not talking to him. After all he's done? Why should I even look at him...Stupid machine...Hurting me all this time...Probably using me for sex..." The station got quiet right before Gavin said 'Probably using me for sex', and everyone heard him. Everyone turned to look at him with pity and sympathy, feeling bad for him. It wouldn't surprise them if Richard WAS using him for sex. Unfortunately, it was also at that moment that Richard had walked in, and heard what Gavin said. He stared at Gavin, and Gavin looked up and his heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of Richard.

Richard was NOT using him for sex. But nobody would believe Richard if he told anybody that, considering the fact that everyone in the station knew he hurts Gavin. They don't know as much as Connor and Hank, but they know enough to not treat him kindly.

Gavin looked away from Richard and sniffled, quietly saying 'I need coffee' to Connor before getting up and walking to the break room to get a cup of coffee.

Richard followed him into the break room and watched Gavin pour himself a small cup of coffee, taking a sip of the hot liquid. He turned around and nearly spilled his coffee everywhere when he saw Richard in the doorway. Richard had a sad look on his face as he walked over to Gavin, who had started shaking. He dropped the cup of coffee and it hit the floor causing coffee to spill everywhere. 

"R-Richard..." Gavin backed up into the wall behind him, expecting to be hit. But the fist he was expecting and waiting for never came. Richard grabbed his shaking hand and kissed his knuckles, trying to calm him down. It worked slightly, Gavin only shaking a little bit now. Richard looked down at him. "I'm not going to hurt you, Gavin...Never again, I swear..." Gavin looked away as he started to cry again, Richard putting a hand on his cheek to wipe away his tears with his thumb. "It's okay...I'm not going to hurt you any more...Don't cry..." He continued to wipe away Gavin's tears with his thumb, and he kissed his forehead. "Come on, let's go home." He held Gavin's hand gently and lead him outside and brought him home, Cinder waiting at the door for them.

* * *

When they walked inside, Cinder meowed at them and started to paw at their legs. Gavin picked up Cinder and pet her gently, holding her close to his chest. She licked his finger once, and then started to clean herself in his arms. Richard brought Gavin to their room, and Gavin put Cinder down on the floor. She left the room and walked around the house, and started to play with a little dust bunny.

Gavin and Richard sat down on the bed, facing each other. There was an awkward silence for a second, but then Richard broke the silence with a sigh. "Gavin...I love you. So so much...I don't know what I was thinking these three years treating you like this...I'm so sorry, Gavin. I really do love you, please, I'm not lying, or faking it, I truly mean it."

Richard leaned in to kiss him, and Gavin closed the gap between them.

The kiss was slow, loving, and there was so much emotion put into it, Gavin clung to Richard as if his life depended on it. Richard wrapped his arms around Gavin's waist, pulling him impossibly closer, afraid that if he let go he would never get him back.

After a moment of kissing, things got more intense, more sexual. Richard moved his hand up Gavin's shirt and kissed his neck, feeling his body, which, he realized, was horribly skinny. Richard pushed Gavin down gently so that he was laying down on his back, Richard in between his legs. "Gavin...Have you been eating?" Gavin shook his head slowly and looked away, turning his head to the side, ashamed of himself. He was so, so ugly. So fucking fat. Why wasn't Richard revolted? Disgusted? 

"...You aren't disgusted with me?" Richard was confused. Why would he be disgusted? "Why would I be disgusted? I'm worried, Gavin...Why haven't you been eating?" 

Gavin was surprised. "I...I thought that if I was skinny and good looking...You would care about me again..." Richard's heart broke.

"Gavin...I always cared about you. I'm so sorry I haven't shown my care and love for you...Please, start eating again, I can help you." Gavin shook his head. "Why?" Richard asked.

"I'm so fat...So ugly...If I eat something, I'll get fatter, and I'm already so disgusted with myself, I'm already so so  _ugly_..." Gavin sobbed.

Richard kissed his cheeks and pressed his forehead against Gavin's. "No no no, Gavin, you are so far from being ugly...You're not fat, you're extremely underweight...We'll talk about this later, okay?" Gavin nodded, even though he secretly didn't want to talk about his body at all.

Richard kissed Gavin lovingly, and Gavin kissed back. Before Gavin could say anything, Richard took off his jacket, sweater, and his shirt. And that's when Richard saw them.

The cuts.


	9. Sex and the mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some well needed time together, Gavin and Richard are called in due to a hostage situation downtown.
> 
> ( Also introducing a new character! )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody does not like my story or how I am writing it, please do not write comments intended to make me, the author, feel bad. That would be greatly appreciated! Other than that, thank you to all who have left positive comments! Comments on my works mean the whole world to me :) Also, a big thank you to all that have given me kudos!!

Richard stared at the cuts in horror. His heart shattered when he saw the self inflicted marks Gavin had on his arms. Gavin looked from the cuts, to Richard, back to the cuts and then back to Richard. Those were something he definitely didn't want Richard to see. Richard looked up at Gavin, tearing up.

Gavin cut because of how he was treated this whole time, didn't he?

It was all his fault.

God, what was he thinking? Treating Gavin like that, he wasn't even thinking at all.

He was determined to make things right. He will do his best to make up for all his mistakes and everything he did wrong, yes, now he will show Gavin just how much he means to him.

That's exactly what he'll do.

Richard lifted Gavin's arm up gently and began to kiss his cuts. Gavin was surprised at the action, but after a moment, smiled slightly. Richard then lifted up his other arm and kissed more of the cuts, looking up at Gavin. 

"I'll help you clean these up and bandage them later, okay?" Richard said, now worried about Gavin getting an infection. "I'll also be taking away everything you've used to hurt yourself. Please stop, okay?" Gavin nodded slowly. Did Richard really care after all..?

Richard took both their pants off and noticed the cuts on Gavin's thighs too. They weren't as new as the ones on his arms, but they were still there. So he moved down and kissed his thighs, the action not meant to be sexual, instead romantic. Caring. Loving.

Gavin's face was red, probably due to the fact that Richard was being so loving with him but also being so sexual at the same time.

After every kiss to his cuts, Richard would softly say "I love you", "You mean everything to me", and many other sweet things. Gavin was in Heaven, not only because of the physical affection he was getting, but the verbal affection too. He's waited  _so_ long for Richard to say these things, and now he was finally saying them to him. It sounded genuine too, which calmed Gavin's anxiety on whether or not he actually meant the things he was saying.

Richard sat up and took out lube and a condom from their nightstand drawer, spreading Gavin's legs when he moved back. He poured some lube onto his fingers and pushed one inside of him, Gavin tensing up at the pain. Richard kissed his inner thigh to try and relax him, not moving. After a moment or two of trying to get used to him, Gavin relaxed. Richard then began to move slowly, not wanting to go too fast and hurt him. After about a minute, he started to quicken his pace, moving faster, pushing in a second. Scissoring his fingers. Gavin moaned.

After that, he then pushed in a third. Once Gavin was whimpering, begging him "please, fuck me", he pulled out his fingers and tore open the condom wrapper. 

He put the condom on himself, and then poured some lube onto himself as well. He stroked himself once, and then grabbed Gavin's hip, pulling him forward to position himself. He decided he wasn't going to be rough with him like he usually was, no, this time he would be slow and gentle. And that's what he did.

He thrusted into Gavin gently, pressing his forehead against Gavin's. He kissed his forehead and started at a slow pace, Gavin moaning softly. He wrapped his arms around the android's neck.

God, he felt so full. Richard was big, and it's been awhile since they've had sex. But I guess you couldn't really even call this sex, this, Gavin thought, was making love.

Richard kissed Gavin softly, and Gavin kissed back. 

Despite the fact that Richard was being gentle with him, Gavin was in Heaven. Actually, that's the exact reason why Gavin was enjoying himself. Because for the first time in what felt like forever, he was being gentle with him instead of rough. He loved it.

Gavin was smiling, and Richard smiled back. They kissed again, and Gavin never felt so alive.

His heart was racing a thousand miles an hour.

He could feel his cheeks were hot, he was blushing.

The android he was so hopelessly in love with was on top of him, being gentle with him as all thoughts and feelings were put into that kiss they shared.

Gavin was so happy he started to cry. Richard knew he wasn't sad, so he kissed away his tears with a smile on his face, his cheeks blue.

They stayed like that for awhile, Richard being sweet to him. Gavin felt as if he was just in a dream, this couldn't be real, right?

"I'm not dreaming...Am I..?" Gavin asked, wanting to be sure. Richard let out a small chuckle and shook his head. 

"No, you're not dreaming. I'm actually here...I'm here to stay." Gavin let out a small sob.

Richard pulled him into a soft, sweet kiss. Gavin, as always, kissed back. He wrapped his legs around Richard's waist, wanting to be closer even though they were already so, so close.

Richard buried his face in Gavin's neck, kissing his soft skin. Gavin made soft noises as he did so, and then whispered in the android's ear, "Harder".

Richard smirked as he began to thrust into Gavin harder, Gavin's moans increasing in volume ever so slightly at the waves of pleasure going through his body. At the same time Richard began to moan quietly, but still, Gavin felt  _so_ good. He was still tight, and warm. Richard loved Gavin's body, how he was moaning underneath him and clinging to him like his life depended on him not letting go of him.

"I love you..." Gavin said, looking into Richard's icy blue eyes.

"I love you too." Richard replied, kissing him roughly this time. Gavin kissed back and moaned into the kiss when Richard started thrusting faster, and Richard pushed his tongue into his mouth and french kissed him, Gavin loving the feeling of Richard's kiss and his body pressed against him.

Richard hit his prostate, and Gavin nearly screamed in pleasure.

"Yes! God, please do that again Richard-" Richard cut him off by hitting it again and Gavin moaned loudly, begging Richard to "please, don't stop! Feels so good~"

And Richard didn't stop, he didn't stop until Gavin was getting sensitive and whimpered at how much his prostate was being abused.

Richard started to thrust even harder, and he moaned along with Gavin.

"Richard..~ I'm close...Please,  _faster_." He begged, wishing that this would never end. It felt so fucking good. Which he said out loud, because Richard growled possessively and thrusted faster, making Gavin scream in pleasure as he reached his orgasm, the white fluid coating his stomach and even parts of his chest as Richard came as well.

Richard and Gavin were both panting. Gavin's legs were shaking as he unwrapped them from around Richard's waist and unwrapped his arms, now realizing that he was clawing at his back the whole time Richard was being rough with him.

Richard pulled out and sat up, not caring that there were now long blue lines on his back. He took the condom off and threw it out in the small trash bin by their nightstand. Gavin sat up and winced slightly due to him now being sore from Richard being so rough with him in the end, but he didn't care.

They both got dressed and Gavin laid down on his side. Richard laid down behind him and wrapped his arm around his waist, intertwining his fingers with Gavin's. Gavin smiled slightly, but that smile faded when his thoughts started to take over.

Was Richard going to start being mean to him again now that they've fucked?

Oh god, what if he IS just using him?

Gavin couldn't get these thoughts out of his head. So, for the first time, he thought he would tell Richard about them.

"R...Richard..?" Gavin asked. "Yeah?"

"...Every time you've apologized to me, we have sex...And...And then after that, you just start to be mean to me again...You're not actually using me...Are you..?" Gavin asked, his voice getting quieter with every word. Richard sighed.

"No, Gavin...I'm not using you. I never was. I'll understand if you don't believe me, but I'm telling you the truth." Gavin nodded slowly. "Okay..."

They stayed like that for awhile, Richard with his arm around Gavin, holding his hand. But, of course, Fowler decided that would be the perfect time to call them both in for something "important".

Gavin groaned and grabbed his phone, answering the call. "What?"

Fowler's voice on the other end was sharp and clear. "Reed, we need you and Richard. It's extremely important. We have a hostage situation at the following address." 

Gavin sat up despite Richard's small attempt to pull him back down to cuddle. After the address was give, Gavin replied. "We'll be right there." And with that, he hung up. 

Gavin got up out of bed and pulled his sweater and jacket on, Richard getting up as well and getting ready to leave. Once they were ready, they left their room and went to the door, Cinder cuddled up on the floor near the window, asleep. Gavin looked at her and smiled before leaving, Richard right behind him.

* * *

When they got to the location Fowler had given them, they realized just how bad the situation was.

There were police officers being shot at, some already had been shot, a few even killed. Gavin and Richard got out of the car and walked over to Fowler.

Once the situation was explained, Gavin took out his gun. Richard took out his own gun as well, and they began to cover other officers as they were fired at.

Gavin looked behind him when he heard someone call his name.

**Tina.**


End file.
